More laments. More tears. More feelings of commiseration, worthlessness and misery.

I have no idea what's going on. Is my sanity falling apart? I've had perfectly lucid moments today, between my bouts of ever-say-die, tummy spasms and horrible vomiting that really hurting my throat. The highs were top-of-the-world-esque and the lows well, ever-day-die really explains it no? It's been happening more and more in the last couple of weeks or three. I don't know how to explain it. I don't know the why, to be able to explain it. My moods are frustrating and scaring the life out of me. And frustrating and upsetting the hell outta my Timmeh.

Took a doctor advocated day off work today, and I have the option of tomorrow as well - yay! maybe.. Part of me says, there's so much I have to do at work, I can't have another day off, but then really, when I'm there am I appreciated? They pay me so they don't have to appreciate me? Either either. I guess I don't feel like I have to rush to fight them fires when I'm not keeping any of my food or fluids down. I'm annoyed at my mood swings. I'm annoyed at not being able to eat anything. Grrrrr

I did end up buying my first car today though, and possibly for the first time openly communicating with Timmeh about what us is. I was home. I was grumpy about moody-poo me and starving. So I decided to look online for a car. I rang car dealer. I politely persuaded car dealer to do me a deal. Went to car dealer with Timmeh after work hours. Did papers for car. Yay! Wheels in about two weeks - I hope. Talked to Timmeh. Cried somemore. Got him to talk to me - am happy about that, though somethings were upsetting. Cuddled. Went for a drive. Got a mini serve of Nando's chicken and chips. Went to somewhere in Bicton, sat on the foreshore. Shared yum yum food. Home now, really hoping yum-yum food stays down. Tummy spasms and gag-reflex reminding me there's food there, and they're not happy.

Still have pockets of misery. Am firm in the belief of Timmeh love. Yay for car-car. Boo to splutty tum and throwing up yum yum chicken.

3 Responses to "depths of gurgling blood"

  1. Mariposa Says:

    It happens to everytime my acidity level goes I just take antacid...unless there is a being there...joke...I don't know..I just got here...through Sid...but really, maybe it's just hyperacidity.

    Have a nice rest!

  2. as clara is Says:

    Mariposa >> the doctor says it should clear up - probably an evil little virus of some sort. So no real food, just a diet of some fizzy effervescent tabs called "gastrolyte" and water. Yum!
    Might consider the hyperacidity theory.. would hate for this to continue tho. I miss my food! *sob*

    Thanks for visiting!

  3. sid Says:

    Hey sorry you're feeling so low. Hope you get better soon. I also just bought a car recently. And talking to my guy about us is something I still haven't gotten around to doing. *Sigh*

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