Gladiator sandals are ridiculous.

They're absolutely hideous and imagine the tan lines! Yikes! And worse still, a heap of people that wear them don't get pedicures and have vomit-inducing cuticles. Everywhere I go this summer, chicks are walking around in these silly looking things - worse still, some of them have ham-feet! Ewwwww! To make matters worse, gladiator sandals are flats and do nothing to flatter shorter women. I don't care if you delude yourself into thinking you have slim legs, those damned straps cut your legs off at the ankle and make your legs look like stumps straps on the end. The multitude of straps and clunky bits do nothing to create a pretty picture.. unless you have perfect legs that go all the way to your armpits. What hope do us mere mortals have if even Rihanna can't make these hideous knee-high Balenciagas look palatable?

I will admit to having purchased a pair of the wretched things in July last year for what worked out to be AUD$8 in Hong Kong whilst on holiday. Back then, no one wore them. They were one of my many novelty buys and I ventured out of the house a few times with them only to have people ask me where I got the damned things. They looked silly then, and they sure as hell look silly now.

But the gladiator inspired heels.... those have some redeeming qualities. I think they do anyway. Simply because they're heels. Not the gumby-style kitten heels (think 1.5 inches) that make fat calves look fatter, but decently tall heels that accentuate and lengthen the line of the leg.. like these: OMG Jimmy Choos!

I bought these Braziallian leather ones today : I'm not sure how much I love them, but they made my chubby legs look less chubby. For AUD$50 I'll give them a go - until I see the photos and think I have ham feet! We'll see that happens. What this space. Hahahahahaha.