I just had one of those conversations on msn that happens between friends. I wouldn't count -lets call her Annie- as one of my closest friends purely because we're separate by geography and can't do all the things that really close friends do together, but Annie is one of my good friends nonetheless. It was one of those general catch-ups about life.. the how we are, work, boys, relationships, thoughts.. feelings that kind of thing.

Annie recently made some changes in her life and so sparked a brief discussion about boys and relationships and what we've learnt. It's funny how things that you thought were resolved with yourself aren't completely.. not really. It's often hard to keep perspective with all the emotions that cloud your mind when you're at the beginning or end of a relationship. The realization that you didn't cry at the end of a long relationship because you were ready for it to be over, and because it had come to a standstill and because you no longer had romantic feelings for the other person; and not because you were a cold heartless bitch, is refreshing. And properly recognizing you were an emotional wreck only because you had it in your head that the thought of your affection was sufficient - akin to being the sun that sustains all life on a planet (yeah, irrational and incredibly egotistical I know!) - and you didn't have to make a commitment, is incredibly stupid. You weren't miserable because you were cheated on. You weren't upset because your relationship failed. You had to have a relationship in the first place to be able to be cheated on or have it fail. You were miserable and upset because you had your ego bruised, and you never anticipated that happening. You never for a moment ever thought that someone might need more than a semblance of you, more than you were willing to give. That they might need your actual presence, your being, to feel validated. It's all in your head.

It's staggering how much of our worlds and our happiness are tied not to the actions and interactions with other people, but how we interpret and comprehend those interactions. I don't proclaim in the faintest to have any idea about how the mind processes emotion, but it is clear that rationality is often an afterthought; it's what happens in reflection. Ego and emotions are a lethal combination, they can skew interpretation of the most benign situations into the scale of the next world war. And fortunately or unfortunately some people are more prone to allowing their ego and sense of self-importance to rule their perception making everything a big deal.

In her infinite wisdom, Annie shared this quote to remind us of what is important:

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, and forget about the ones who dont. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, just promised that it would be worth it."