I had a long conversation with a good mate this morning about women and relationships. More to the point, what does a guy have to do to get more than good 'ol friendship from a chick he's got the hots for. No we're not talking about trying to get laid, but trying to get a woman to want to be the "girlfriend".

Straight up I got the "women want to be with jerks" line, you know, the one where we're friendly and chatty (note: not flirty, just friendly and cordial) with the nice guy that's supposedly not so hot, and hook up with some arsehole that looks good but treats us like shite.. yeah, that one. And seriously his line about women only wanting to fuck the hot footballer after rocking the bar on someone elses dime really got me fired up. Short of telling him to get his head out of his own behind, I went with the more polite that-bitterness-has-obviously-gotten-you-far style retort. We were obviously discussing a festering sore point.

His take, bitter sexist bull shite aside, is: Women seem to prattle on about how they want their man to connect with them on some intellectual level, have a great sense of humour, care about their views and all that other namby-pamby stuff, but when it comes crunch time, we pick the proverbial show studs as lovers and relegate the trusty work horses that did all the namby-pamby stuff to just friends. The classic nice guys finish last scenario.

I want to stand up and say that women don't do that, that we select our partners based on all the wishy-washy, namby-pamby stuff, but I would be lying. Here's my take (in a nutshell) on what a woman looks for when looking for a man she might want a romantic relationship with:
- First impressions are made on a primal level, we'll obviously be more physically attracted to what we consider good looking - say it with me, packaging. You can't always tell what the contents are by the packaging, but the packaging does dictate the level of interest. So ALWAYS be well presented if you're putting your heart on the market.
- DON'T BE A DOORMAT. It works the same way with women, you never want to be too available. Just because you've been thinking about her 24/7 for the last two months doesn't mean you should pay for all her drinks on a night out with friends. You don't owe us anything, and no one respects a patsy.
- Fake it till you make it if you have to. BE CONFIDENT. A well-presented, self-assured man is sexy.
- TELL HER YOU'RE INTERESTED. She's not going to know unless you tell her.

So there's the kicker, if you not presenting what she wants to see you have no chance in hell of hooking up or anything else. Being the good guy friend will get you exactly that - the good friend spot. Put your best foot forward, be your best self and tell the woman you're interested as soon as you feel you are, save the deep and meaningful for later. If she's interested great, if not you've saved yourself feeling worse than you do, and probably a good deal of time, money and months of blue balls. You'll still be friends, you just won't be stringing yourself along.

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