9:47 pm

Conversations are strange creatures, they begin with trivialities like that dress that you think might make you look fat from a particular angle, plans for the weekend and then on move to random things like how the warmer weather is making my hair weird and for whatever reason it turns to "that first time". Yeah the one where we briefly travel back in time and reminisce about the time of our first sexual encounter.

So many questions and feelings surround the first time a person has sex. I wouldn't have a clue about how guys perceive it, think about it, or anything about it really, but given what we've laughed and rambled on about, girls think/cry/stress/laugh about it before, during and after.

So this is some of the questionable questions we debated:
Should you be in love with the first person you have sex with, or do you just have to like them? (We all agreed some level of like is extremely important. Usually a crazy level of like, say it with me, infatuation!) Is the other person even important, or do they just have to be hot (in your lusty eyes) and be able to function? (Don't tell me it's a feminist point of view - it just reads as selfish! Hahahaha) Do you have to be in a relationship or just think you are? (Never a great idea to think that having sex gets you into a relationship. Yikes! Who does that?) How long should you have known said person? An hour, a week, a few weeks, a few months, a few years? (No serious judgement here, but we concurred that we're all bloody old fashioned and averaged on a year or more - it's not how long you've been in the romantic relationship, but how long you've known the other person. The first time is pretty significant (we think), so a decent bloke wasn't enough, had to be a decent bloke we seriously got to know.) Is the event something you plan with elaborate detail, or something of spontaneity? (Some contention there, different personalities and all. It did revolve around the who rather than the when - planned spontaneity?! Hahahaha! The people with the planning went to some serious effort- as Dolly would say.. "So romantic!") Do you tell the other person it's your first time in hope that it's theirs as well so "it's special"? Do you care either way? (This one was a case of "it came up in conversation" usually while some action or impending action was about to occur - described aptly as the "last minute think about it moment".) Does location matter? (Consensus: SOMEWHERE COMFORTABLE!) Does being at your place or theirs make a difference? (Debates about control.. the who gets to not be the one to have to leave..) Does being in a car make it tragic? (I can't believe that came up! Who does that?) Who calls first the next day? (I don't think anyone really remembers, it was like a given that we would be seeing the other person the next day anyway kinda thing).

Heaps of laughs, think *lol* and *hahahaha* and *hehehe* appearing everywhere on screen.. okay and embarrassed girly giggles. We think a lot about everything, parents, culture, what everyone else thinks, will think, thunk even. It all seemed so important then, I'm glad it was important, because it is. Not because of what anyone might think, more because it's a personal choice. Goes back to the whole deal with "my body, my choice".

One thing's for sure, the powers that be are right when they say "you never forget your first time".

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